We humans are born with an innate tendency to notice the negative or problems (so that we can try to fix them). This is thanks to our ancient biological heritage. Some people have this tendency more than others, often because they’ve been ‘trained’ by their upbringing to notice what is wrong, or to think they’re not good enough (more on this next time).

So how can we counteract this habit? A powerful mindfulness practice called Loving Kindness meditation is the key. This practice is not so much about thinking positively – it actually trains you to be able to feel good regardless of what happens.

You may have heard of the popular movement called Positive Psychology that gives lots of methods to train yourself to think positively. For example, I bet you’ve heard of the idea of giving yourself daily ‘positive affirmations’ as the solution to every problem you have in life! The problem with training yourself to think positively or only notice positive things is that this can be used to ignore or cover up challenges rather than dealing with them.

Actually, happiness is derived very much from our relationship to life’s challenges. If we are okay with discomfort and imperfection in our life and it doesn’t make us stressed, then we will be a lot happier overall. We’ll be able to weather the storm of things that (inevitably) will go wrong, yet still feel happy.

So back to how we can feel better. A unique practice in mindfulness is Loving Kindness practice. This meditation involves generating loving feelings towards others and ourselves. This is unlike other mindfulness practices, which are all about observing and noticing things like our breath, thoughts, emotions or body sensations.

Practicing loving kindness gives us sustained practice at feeling positive emotions like love, joy, gratitude, compassion and contentment. Even better, it helps us hone the skill of being kind and compassionate to ourselves and to others. Just like breath meditation gives us practice in feeling our breath and body, loving kindness gives us practice in feeling happy and loving.

Loving kindness practice can overcome any habit we may have of noticing what’s wrong with ourselves or others, and help us face up to stressful events.

Research into loving kindness meditation has shown that it not only helps us feel happier, but it can also reduce chronic pain, migraine headaches, improve your ability to relax, and can even reduce ageing!

So give it a go! Here is a free guided Loving Kindness meditation I have created for you to try out this powerful form of meditation.

May you be well and happy.

May all beings be well and happy.